


Haunting Memories

by kickcows



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Drama, M/M, One Shot, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-07
Updated: 2013-08-07
Packaged: 2017-12-22 17:21:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/915972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kickcows/pseuds/kickcows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after the events of KH3D. Lea is struggling to figure out just why his friend Isa chose a different path than he thought he would. After returning to the Castle That Never Was, he meets with an unexpected intruder. Rated Explicit for: sexual situations, adult content, lemon. One shot. Written for AkuSai Day 2013.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Haunting Memories

**This is set after the events in KH3D. So, technically this story is Lea/Saïx, but for the date’s sake, I’ve included Axel and Isa for the characters. If you haven’t played KH3D, or do not know the story, this may not be the fic for you. This is my 3rd year writing a fic for this day. These two are my OTP for this fandom, I love them with all that I have. This is a stand alone fic. All properties belong to Squeenix, except my story. Please enjoy!**

**Dedicated to my beta -  AnimalCops**

* * *

***

He can still see the fight, replaying over in his mind each time he closes his eyes to sleep. The shouts of the Organization’s Number II to the man directly above him, questioning what they were they supposed to do now, receiving no answer except a dark chuckle. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees a black cloak heading straight toward him, attempting to not let the one he was rescuing drop from his grip. As the attackers’ weapon manifested, his heart began breaking into tiny pieces. _No, it can’t be_.

“Isa, what the hell are you thinking?” He mumbled, running a hand through his crimson spikes. Lea still could not believe his friend... _no, more than that,_ that Isa really would choose Xehanort’s path. He stood up from his bed, taking surveillance of the room. Being back in Radiant Garden did not feel right to him, not when his other half was missing from the world. Grabbing his boots, he put them on his feet and created a portal, determination flowing through him.

Stepping out of the Darkness, he is now standing on the raised platform of the room which haunts his every waking thought. He looked at each of the raised chairs, shock still strong in his system as he looks at the chair where he had stood, where he had looked into those amber eyes as he defended himself against the one person he never wanted to be put into that situation with.

Darkness helps to move himself back to that chair. He has not been here since the event a few weeks ago, the place sending chills down his spine. So many meetings took place here, when he was still a Nobody. “The Room Where Nothing Gathers,” his voice echoed off the walls. “Tsch, I don’t think I’m Nothing now. What does that make me?” _Someone that doesn’t belong._ Sighing, he jumped off the chair, landing agilely on his feet, shaking off the shadows from the past.

He left the room, making his way through familiar hallways, his feet leading him in the direction of his old bedroom. _No, Axel’s bedroom. Not mine._ As he pushed the door open, he couldn’t help but think that maybe he was the same as his Nobody, but just lacked the physical traits he carried. It hadn’t bothered him to hear the others refer to him as Axel, as if the name was more familiar to him than his human name. He walked into the room, and saw that everything was the way he had left it before turning on the Organization.

Lea looked out the window, the popsicle stick that had been the last item he had received from the one who had escaped the Organization still perched precariously on the ledge. He examined the end of the stick, that sadness rolling over him. He broke the stick in half, throwing the remnants out the window. Physical reminders of how he lost his best friend and lover in the first place all too real to him. Having to choose between a real friendship and a fake one, he made the mistake of choosing the supposed fake one. _What if_ our _friendship was the fake one?_ Our _relationship?_ He picked up another popsicle stick, wishing it was something larger, as the immense anger began to seep through his mind. The sound of it hitting the wall with an almost inaudible sound caused the redhead to grunt, unsatisfied with the lack of mayhem he had wished to create. Walking over to the door, he opened it, refusing to look backwards.

His feet moved on their own accord once more, leading him straight into the Grey Area. He saw a lone figure standing in there, near the large glass window. His heart began to beat faster as azure locks taunted him, while a sudden strike of nausea began to hit him, realizing just who it was that was standing there. The further he walked into the room, he saw that his mind was playing tricks on him, as there was no one else in the room. Standing next to the spot, he confirmed that there was no other presence there but himself. Warmth caressed his cheeks, as the tears he had not realized were there began to cascade down his visage. Wiping his eyes with the back of his gloved hand, Lea moved away from the area, turning around to leave.

“What are you doing here?”

_It wasn’t a ghost._ Lea’s head shot up, locking eyes with his amber eyes, those eyes that constantly flashed in his mind. “Excuse me?” Out of all the things he wanted to say to him, those were the first words to leave his mouth. He felt his palms begin to itch, his chakrams silently screaming to be released, to keep himself protected from this unknown being.

“I asked, what are you doing here?” Saïx waltzed around him, standing in a familiar stance. “If he finds out that you’re here...”

The comfort of the metal in his hands made Lea breathe easier, clinging to each chakram as he turned and looked at his former friend. “He’s here right now? Are all of you here? Is Braig here?”

“He’s off somewhere at the moment. And he is still Number II.”

Lea released one of his chakrams, striking the wall near where the Nobody stood. “Damn it, Isa! What the fuck is the matter with you?? You can’t be serious right now, can you?”

“What is the matter with me? There is nothing the matter with me.”

The redhead grabbed onto his slender shoulder, his heart skipping a beat as the bluenette seemed to actually be standing here. With him. Nowhere else. “There is!” He squeezed his shoulder before letting go, stepping back away from him. “Fuck, Isa.” He turned away quickly, the warmth returning to his cheeks. He didn’t want to break down, but seeing him, actually _touching_ him was too much for Lea.

“Lea...”

That sound, the sound of his voice. He couldn’t help but turn around, and was shocked to no longer see amber in his irises, but saw the cyan he had missed for so long. Lea shook his head, refusing to accept what he was seeing. “I can’t do this, Isa.”

With a small flick of his wrist, Saïx opened a portal. “Come with me, Lea.”

“Why should I? You tried to kill me the last time we saw each other. Or did you forget that?” Lea couldn’t help the sarcasm that laced his words, his heart still hurting each time he thought of that moment. “You were trying to stop me.”

“Please.” The bluenette gestured towards the portal.

Knowing that he would likely be upset if he did or didn’t go, Lea just accepted that this was something he was going to have to do, and stepped through the portal. He still didn’t understand what was happening, and if this person, whose eyes kept shifting, could help him figure it out, he knew that he had nothing to lose. He stepped out of the portal, and stopped, his brain shutting down completely.

They were back in Radiant Garden, as it had been when they were teenagers. The portal had led him to the Fountain Courtyard, the twilight hues of the falls just as beautiful as he remembered them. He heard the portal close behind him, stepping to the side to allow the bluenette to join him. And that’s when he heard it.

“Do you promise to always be there for me? No matter what happens?” Lea blanched, as the sound of his younger self was speaking, the sound almost muddled. The voices were coming from down below, sitting on the ledge, their feet dangling off the side.

A snort sounded. “Why would you even ask that? You know how I hate when you ask things like that. I can’t stand you, remember?” Isa’s voice. _Isa. Oh no, what the hell is going on??_

“Aww, come on! You know you love me!” The younger voice of Lea was filled with both sadness and glee, while the elder redhead’s body broke out in goosebumps.

Isa shook his head head. “I do not. Not at all.”

“That’s not what you said last night.” Lea’s voice changed, the implication clear.

“You know I’ll never leave your side, Lea.” Isa sighed softly. The elder Lea crumpled to the ground, falling to his knees, his heart aching with every word the younger bluenette said. “It’s always going to be you and I. Nothing will ever come between us.”

He choked back a loud sob, hugging his own body tightly. Trying to pinpoint this day in his memory, he couldn’t remember if he had heard any noise, or anything that might give away that he was there. His younger voice began speaking again, tearing more at his psyche.

“You promise? Because, Isa, I don’t think I could ever be without you. It’s always going to be you and me. No one else. Got it memorized?”

A hand touched his shoulder, dragging him away from the scene. Lea was too distraught to realize he was being pulled into the Corridor of Darkness, recognizing it a moment after they exited the portal. They were no longer in Radiant Garden, but back in the Grey Area, where the redhead stayed on the ground, shaking.

“H-How?” Lea looked up, staring blankly at the scar on Saïx’ glabella. “That...that was...”

“Because I have chosen to be one of his vessels, I have been given the abilities he is able to utilize.” Saïx held out his hand, offering it to the redhead.

“Are you saying he can jump through time? He can do the impossible?” Lea stared at his offered hand. “I don’t believe it, Isa. I can’t. That just isn’t possible.”

“And yet, you just saw the two of us, did you not? You remember that day don’t you?” Saïx asked, keeping his hand out. “That was after you and I -”

“Enough!” His emerald eyes closed tightly. “Please,” Lea pleaded. “I don’t need to hear about it anymore.”

“Why are you still sitting on the floor? Here, let me help you.”

He shook his head. “No, don’t.” Lea stood up on shaky legs. “I don’t need your help.”

“Lea, please..”

“No! Don’t you get it?” The sadness that Lea had been assaulted with became fleeting, as anger began to take over. “I looked _everywhere_ for you. Everywhere!! When I woke up, in this body, my first thought was of you. I searched that entire castle for you, and for Braig!”

Saïx turned away, looking out at the permanent night sky of the World That Never Was. “You were foolish to do so. When I awoke, Xehanort greeted me alone, and then stabbed my heart.” His hand drifted towards his chest, as a morose sigh fell from his lips.

“I should have tried harder.” Lea’s voice broke. “Isa, I’m so sorry. I should have gotten to you first. I should have been able to protect you from that.” His eyes shone bright, still standing his ground. “Will....will you at least come with me, Isa?”

The bluenette shook his head. “This is my place now, Lea. I do not understand why you are here now, but I cannot leave.”

“I’m sorry, but I just can’t accept that answer.” Lea wrapped his arms tightly around Saïx’ body, ignoring the words that starting to spew from his mouth. He used Darkness to take them back to the bedroom his Nobody counterpart used, knowing it was probably the safest place for the two of them to be. He let go as the bluenette snarled at him.

“Why did you do this?” Saïx asked, his eyes now a bright yellow. “You had no right, Lea. Just let this be done. You made your choice.”

“I LOOKED FOR YOU FIRST!! I THOUGHT YOU WERE STILL NOT ALIVE!” Lea screamed, his own temper flaring. “YOU LEFT ME ALONE! YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T!”

Yellow slowly began to fade away, being replaced by a light hazel color - neither amber, or blue, as Saïx stood there. “If you’re upset for what happened with the thirteenth vessel, that was not my choice. I did not wish for it to come to that.”

“And yet, you did nothing to stop yourself, striking me with your claymore. You’re right, it wasn’t your choice.” Lea’s voice dropped back to a normal level, leaning against the wall for support. He closed his eyes and spoke softly, “It’s all I can see, Isa. All I see when I close my eyes, is that look of pure hatred in your eyes. And....I know that there’s nothing I can do to change that.”

“Would you change it, if you could?” Saïx queried, his voice flat.

The redhead shook his head. “No, because I had to help him.”

“Because of the puppet.”

Lea knew that the bluenette was not asking a question. “Because of a lot of reasons, Isa. Don’t you get it? I wanted you to be with me, through all of this. I wanted to stay with you, be by your side, but you were the one that changed. You were the one that went and left me with no choice.”

“You were the one that left me with no choice, choosing that imbecile over me. You are right, we were supposed to be together through all of this. But you chose him. You chose that false friendship over what we had, what we shared together.”

He blinked back fresh tears, shaking his head. “No, Isa. You don’t seem to understand.”

“If you had found me, do you think that I would have been happy as I was, when we were human?” Saïx began to close the distance between the two of them, walking forward at a slow pace.

Sniffling, Lea nodded his head. “I think you would have been, Isa. I think that if you hadn’t been struck by that stupid asshole, forced to become,” he gestured his hand towards him, “ _this_ , that we could have been just fine.”

“We do not have that option now,” Saïx spoke softly, stepping closer to the redhead’s body.

He reached out instinctively, his hands settling on Saïx’ hips, drawing him in towards himself. He felt the bluenette soften in his arms, his heart pounding as Saïx placed his head against his shoulder. “We don’t, you’re right. But, it doesn’t mean that you and I....That we....”

“What is the point, Lea?” Saïx whispered, his body pressing against the redhead’s. “There is no point, because no matter what happens, I have been forced into my choice. I have been forced down this path, with no way of being able to get back on the one which you are on.”

Lea squeezed him tightly. “Don’t say that,” he spoke quietly, shaking his head. “Please, Isa. You can’t say that. You know as well as I do that we can deal with this together.”

“But we cannot. You...” Saïx lifted his head, his blue eyes as clear as the pools of water he had just seen in Radiant Garden.

Tired of listening to him babble on, knowing just what was going to leave his lips, Lea tilted his head down and silenced him quickly, their lips meeting in a soft kiss. As their lips met, Lea’s knees went weak, the familiarity of his best friend’s mouth interacting with his own made his heart hurt. This is where he knew he was meant to be, knew that this was more important to him than anyone else. Lea parted his lips, anxious to feel the bluenette’s tongue against his own, a low groan bubbling out of him as they caressed each other timidly. His arms slipped further around Saïx’ back, holding him close to his chest, as their kiss deepened, their tongues falling into a versant touch. Saïx pulled back first, panting softly, as Lea began to move them towards the bed.

“I only did what you thought I had to do.” Lea unzipped his cloak, watching as the bluenette did the same, both of their bodies in a heightened state of arousal. “If you think that I was only helping him because he’s the Somebody of....well...you know,” Lea pulled his boots off, “that isn’t the reason. The reason I did what I did was to find a way so I could figure out where you had gone. I thought you were truly still dead, and that the only way I’d be able to figure out how to bring you back, was to gain the power of a keyblade wielder.”

Saïx’ blue eyes grew wide, as he yanked his own shoes off. “You possess the power of the keyblade?”

“And you can travel through time. So, I’d say we’re even on that one.” Lea’s lips curled up in a smirk, pulling his undershirt off of his body, leaving him standing in just his black pants. “Enough talking.” He removed Saïx’ shirt quickly, then pulled his pants down. As the  bluenette laid across the bed sideways, Lea took off his own pants, and kneeled between Saïx’ legs. “When’s the last time you....?” Saïx turned his face to the side, answering the redhead’s question. “Alright, nevermind.” He placed two fingers against the bluenette’s lips. “I hope that you at least showered, yes?”

Saïx pulled the two fingers into his mouth, nodding his head slowly, as his tongue began to coat each digit liberally. Lea moaned low, wishing that they could have time to do something more than just this hurried moment, but he wasn’t about to get caught. Once he felt his fingers were well lubricated, he pulled them out of Saïx’ mouth, the bluenette whimpering softly, clearly stating he was not pleased by the redhead’s actions.

Moving his hand down, Lea pushed his index finger against the bluenette’s entrance, moaning low as his finger slipped inside, pushing past the tight ring of muscle. He heard Saïx exhale loudly, his legs spreading to ease the redhead’s finger deeper into his body. The soft, velvety skin of his inner walls was pulling Lea’s finger further in as he added a second finger. Saïx’ hands grabbed the comforter that they were laying on top of, and twisted it violently, a soft moan filling the redhead’s sense. He began to scissor his fingers gently, wanting to make sure that he wasn’t going to hurt the only one he had ever given a damn about, wishing for it to be as painless as possible.

“Nngh...Lea, please...” Saïx whined softly, his legs spreading further as he lifted his hips up off the bed. The redhead smirked, thoroughly pleased by how hard the bluenette’s cock was, watching it bounce with each gentle thrust of his hips. He hooked his index finger, finding his sweet spot almost instantly. “AAH!!” Saïx shouted, his blue eyes shining brightly.

“Found you...” Lea whispered, a smile engulfing his face. He could feel his own cock throbbing, as he kept rubbing the pad of his finger against that spot, elated to watch his lover’s face, almost as if it were happening for the first time. But he knew the tricks, knew what it would take to get Saïx’ body to respond to his touch, even after all this time. After a few more whimpers, he pulled his fingers out.

He observed the bluenette, staring helplessly as Saïx began to lick his palm, and soon was moaning low, as that palm began work up and down his cock. The moisture from his tongue was getting the redhead ready. He couldn’t help but thrust into Saïx’ hand, his hips rocking as he looked into Saïx’ eyes. He moaned lower, unable to look away as his hand pumped him faster, the bluenette knowing his body all too well. His eyes shut as he shook his head rapidly, not wanting to come like this. Saïx’ hand slowed down, and slowly unfurled itself, leaving the wetness behind.

Lea placed himself at Saïx’ entrance, the tip of his cock easing into his body almost as if it was second nature. The inner walls of Saïx quickly accepted the intrusion, and began to pull him in deeper, their bodies moving together instinctively. Both moaned softly, as Lea pushed himself in as far as he could go, stilling his hips to let Saïx get used to his girth. The bluenette, however, was as anxious as he was, as Saïx began to push his hips downwards, forcing the redhead to move his hips slowly, each thrust as exquisite as the last.

“Why...did you....take us...there....?” Lea’s lips caressed Saïx’ ear, his chest pressing against the bluenette’s.

Saïx leaned his head back, his legs wrapping tightly around Lea’s waist. “Because...it’s you...and me.....always....Nothing....No one....can come....between us....Lea...”

“Isa....” Lea whispered in his ear, thrusting faster, as their bodies began to rock together rapidly. “Isa, please.....please, I need you to always be here for me....Please....Never...ever....leave me...”

He thrust his hips harder, beginning to pound into the bluenette’s body, no longer holding anything back. He could hear Saïx’ cries echoing in the room, the sounds of his own moans a sharp contrast to his mewls. “I’ll....never....leave....Lea....”

The sounds of his name falling from Saïx’ lips were sending his mind into a tizzy, as each thrust wracked his body more than the last. He could see the two of them, the night prior to the event which the bluenette had taken him to only hours before, as their younger selves had their first sexual encounter together. Tears began to cloud his eyes once more, sadness engulfing the redhead as he pounded into the bluenette harder, his moans coming out as soft sobs. He could hear the bluenette’s own cries becoming emotional, as much as they could be, as they both began to remember the same event, at the same exact time. Lifting his head, Lea’s eyes locked onto Saïx’, his eyes still a vibrant blue, resembling the eyes of the one he had given his heart and soul to completely.

“Lea...” Saïx whispered, his hips pushing down harder on the redhead’s cock. “Lea....I love you...”

The redhead blinked away the tears, staring into his best friend’s eyes. “Always, Isa.....Always....You and me.....No one else.....Got it.....”

“Memorized...” Saïx whispered, nodding his head as they both found their completion, their orgasms hitting as one. Their eyes stayed on each other as they rode out their release, soft moans passing from both of their lips, no further words said.

Panting softly, Lea stilled his hips, sadness beginning to roll over him as Saïx unwrapped his legs from around him. He slipped out of him, almost too soon, and laid next to him on the bed, his breathing returning to normal. He lifted his arm up as Saïx rested his head against his chest, setting it down to lay across his back.

“Lea, I....”

The redhead shook his head. “Please...don’t say anything right now. I just...I want to hold onto this, Isa. I love you so much, that I almost want to have that idiot make me into one his vessels. Let me take the spot that he wanted Sora to take. I just...” His voice broke once more, his voice thick with emotion. “I can’t be without you, Isa. I can’t. I’m sorry for whatever I did when Roxas and Xion were around. I truly am sorry. I just....I need you to be with me. I love you so much.”

“I’ll always be with you, Lea.” Saïx lifted his head, the blue of his eyes slowly turning back to the amber color the redhead was so accustomed to. “What you and I have...”

“No one else can touch.” The redhead whispered, finishing the bluenette’s thought. He sat up from the bed, and lifted Saïx up, hugging him tightly to him. “I love you. I always have, and I always will. No matter what happens, please....Just remember that, okay?”

Saïx’ arms wrapped around him tighter, hugging him back just as ferociously. “I know, Lea. I know. I..I hope that you and I...we can be...”

Lea let go of him, and began to get dressed. He didn’t want to acknowledge what he was implying, knowing that the path he had set himself on. He knew that in the future, the two of them were likely to be in a fight, and one that would not end in hugs or kisses, or laughter, as their fights in their previous life had, but one that would end in death. Lea slipped his cloak back on, and closed his eyes, silently praying that it would never come to that. He did not want a repeat of what had happened when rescuing the brunette. “I’ve got to go now, Isa.” He left the unspoken words of Saïx become just that - unspoken.

“I know.” The bluenette was still sitting up, the light reflecting off those amber irises. “Please...promise me that you’ll be careful.”

The redhead nodded his head. “I will. And you do the same, alright?” He lifted his hand, opening a portal. “Isa....I...”

“I love you too.” Saïx nodded his head. “Whatever happens, will happen. Just remember this, Lea. Remember that it’s always you and I.”

Lea bit his lip, turning on his heel as he gave a simple nod of his head before vanishing into the Corridor of Darkness. He appeared back in his bedroom in Radiant Garden, those thoughts of the time before suddenly gone, now replaced with the soft kisses and moans of his best friend. His eyes no longer saw amber when they closed, but a deep, rich blue. He knew that when the time came, he was going to have to make a choice, but for now....For now, he’d hold on to the memory of his best friend. The one that could understand him like no one else could, the one that completed his heart, mind, body and soul. 


End file.
